F**K!

yea i wont even bother making sense, f**k the capitals and punctuation

it's like almost 1am and i gotta work at 9am tomorrow in friggen alb parks. getting there at 9am requires me to leave at about 8:10am which means waking up at like 7:45am. WTF???

so that means im prob gonna get just over 6 hrs sleep tonight...F**K!

i'll prob regret swearing so much and being so cut but f**k it. i dont care right now...deal with it laters. it's diff anyway coz im not usually this casual in my blogs. the real me. take it or leave it.

yea im swearing, but f**k you! read 9:30am as f**king 9:30pm...whadda d**k! only myself to blame but s**t it's gay! so angerrsss it makes me...omg whadda dumbass.

that's like $120 gone...and no opps to see star wars on the night i wanna see it. that's f**ked.

cryptic yes. but s**t this dumb dont go away so u be hearin bout it soon nuff. f**k.

There's Some Explaining To Do...

Most of you would have heard about the Australian heroin smugglers in Bali. I was reading an article related to this on MSN tonight and something caught my attention.

Alleged Bali Nine godfather in isolation
17:50 AEST Fri Apr 22 2005
Accused heroin godfather Andrew Chan has been locked in an isolation cell in Bali to stop him allegedly making death threats against eight other Australians being held for heroin smuggling.

Err...Drew, do you have something to tell us?

In a galaxy far, far away...

30 days to go...

D-Day

Yesterday I got my driving licence back. My very own Driving-Day if you will. For those of you not-in-the-know, well I lost it for 6 mths last October 15th...around the same time I started this blog actually.

I've thought of a few ways I could celebrate this return and this is what I've come up with:
1. Normal, run-of-the-mill (gee I like my hyphens today don't I?) celebratory dinner/drinks.
2. Sell my current car and buy a new one. I guess this is quite unrealistic since I've bugged my parents about this for years with no progress. I could perhaps still do this without the extra parental funding but I'd end up with like a 2nd-hand Echo or perhaps something worse.
3. Fill my tank to full and drive around till empty enjoying the kind of freedom O.J. Simpson does. A cost-benefit analysis of this would say something along the lines of "No. You s**thead." Or maybe that was my girlfriend, family and friends...
4. Variation of option #3, I could do a pop-in marathon and visit friends living in the sticks in suburbs like Macleod, Watsonia, Scoresby, Springvale, Clayton and Endeavour Hills. (Hehe I do take my own advice - check out three posts earlier, Recipe for a Blog and read Iron Chef Wong's 3rd rule.) But uh, yea Mt. Waverley is far from Kew too but for fear of my life I am forced to say it's not stickville...it's good...like kinda close...to the Glen...which has like shops...and a train station...OK I'll shuddup now coz otherwise Anna will scold oops I mean I will selfishly make Anna upset.

Looking at the above, option 1 looks the most likely/sensible. Unfortunately for me, I'm saving for the US Trip at the end of the year and I'm currently busy with Uni and grad apps. Maybe I'll choose option 5: Reverse my car onto the street, then park back in the driveway. The coppers can't get me now - I've got my licence back!

Musings

I've got a lot of work to do so I'll try and keep this short and sweet.

My weekend was pretty aiiight. Saturday night had Jade's 21st @ Decorum Bar and that was real cool. Loved it! Drinks, people and some funny speeches. Managed to do the Stalacs run after that too! Ooo kebabs. Drew was probably the highlight towards the end of the night haha Nick the Dick and the hermaphs!

Sunday woke up feeling sorry for myself after a late one but organised to head down south for Lena's 21st. Rocked up and saw about 30 cars parked in and around the street! Loved the chicken skewers but was embarrassed when my good mate Garry shouted "Greg, weren't you going to sing a Guy Sebastian song?" during a period of silence just after the speeches. Well and truly owned when Lena said "Yeah! Come on" and Steve (another good mate of mine) pulled me towards the front of the room of 60 or so people. Resisted and 'twas awfully awkward until people realised I wasn't going to do it.

Yesterday night made it to the Melbourne Town Hall to see Glasshouse, a comedy panel on the ABC with Wil Anderson, Dave Hughes and Corinne Grant. That was hilarious! Guests included Pete Helliar (whom I love from Rove Live!), Jason Byrne (whom I knew of from the Comedy Festival Gala) and of course Arj Barker. Hot Lego (you forkin' ijot!), tweaking nipples and humping the s**t out of rabbits. As they say, you had to be there.

I've noticed tonight that a few people have blogged in the last day or two, but before that no one had blogged for a while. What's the go people? Are you all in collusion and post on the same day, causing me to spend ages reading all your blogs in one hit then wait like another week before anything new pops up? Or are you all telepathically inter-connected and I'm out of the loop? Wait, I posted yesterday and today too. Maybe I'm in the loop but I don't even know it. Maybe I can read minds but I don't know it! Maybe I'm bulimic! (Zoolander joke)

I cannot believe I haven't mentioned Star Wars yet! Massive fan and only one month and one week till the premiere! Watched Empire Strikes Back on Friday night after Youth Group which got my Jedi-juices flowing. Want to watch the other ones in the box-set but really can't afford the time. Also, my DVD drive still doesn't work which means I cannot play KOTOR II which Sanji kindly burnt for me. Maybe that's a blessing in disguise since I don't have enough time as it is keeping up with Uni and grad apps! May the force be with me!

Political Correction

Note to self: I really have to stop using the word "n*gga" in such a colloquial manner...especially once I get to LA on November 26th.

Recipe for a Blog

I know how it goes. Right now you're thinking 'I don't have anything to say. But I do want to post. What shall I do?'

Don't worry because Iron Chef Wong is here to teach you all about blogging!

First, you have to not give a s**t. As easy as this may sound, this comes with practice, practice and a calm sense of not giving a s**t. It's the only true way to find peace with your inner-blog.

Secondly, you must (and I cannot stress this enough), you must believe in what you post. If you say "I am a Facist" you better damn well have a moustache. If you say "Today I met the girl/guy of my dreams" then you'd better be able to present me with some candid stalking photos. (Oh, and a pair of soiled panties are always good! Guy or girl, I'm not discriminatory!)

Thirdly, lastly and not leastly, you require the bluntness to offend someone. Iron Chef Wong's rule is: You'll offend someone anyway, so why not choose who you want to piss off. For example:
This post I aim to teach people about blogging Sharon is a whore.

Before you know it, voila! Your very own post. It's not hard people, this ain't rocket science! I shall now leave you with a poem from Iron Chef Wong:

Do not show fear,

When you think you are stuck,

For the best advice,

Is to not give a f

Disclaimer: Iron Chef Wong is entirely fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead are purely coincidental. Gregory Wong® takes no responsibility for the contents of this blog and therefore is not liable for any action taken on his advice because it is all bullshit.

Condolences

R.I.P. Pope John Paul II (1920-2005)