So in the last few hours I've actually had the time to browse around on the net and come across some blogs of the past - old friends as I affectionately call them. I guess they reminded me of why I began blogging in the first place, to put my thoughts in words and provoke my readers to respond, both positively and negatively. I guess I realise I've somewhat deviated from this original aim and I'll be the first to admit I sold out. I got scared that my blog would be boring and wouldn't live up to expectations and no one would understand my silly randomness and so subtly (well to me anyway) just became like a quick "half-time entertainment"-esque blog.
Since I probably post on average twice a week it's been a gradual change that even my first readers won't notice. Is this a bad thing though? That's another thing I noticed, I would really like to ask more questions in my blogs, even if they are rhetorical. Maybe I'm just in one of those really reflective moods and therefore this type of post will be short-lived. Well actually I can answer that for you and tell you that YES, I am in a very ponderous kinda mood.
I also sell out by shortening my posts for the general readership. Most people can't be bothered reading a long-ass blog. It also makes for an easier comedic element - jokes are short and sweet, no beating around the bush so to speak, otherwise the punchline is dead long before it's delivered.
I'm thinking of incorporating two topics into this one post. I've decided I'm going to do it. Who cares about ease of reading, comical aspect and likeability. This is my blog and I'm gonna pour out the looovvee.
So I've been thinking about this thing lately: unrequited love. For myself, I'm going to come forward and say I believe most people have experienced this. Or haven't you? (See, I'm getting the hang of this question thing!) Recently I've just remembered about this feeling, and it's so weird that we as humans can "forget" emotions. When we're sad, we can't imagine being happy. We want to be happy, but we don't know what it feels like at that sad point in time. I guess feelings are mutually exclusive in that sense - you can't be happy and sad at the same time. The caveat though, is that
opposite emotions are mutually exclusive, because I hear all you smartasses going "How about being happy and excited at the same time???"
So having set the scene hopefully by highlighting that I find it fascinating that we can 'forget' feelings, unrequited love is the emotion of the day. I remember it to be really profound, yes that's the word I'd use. I guess it depends from person to person, but I guess I'm just like 'Christian' from Moulin Rouge who puts love at the pinnacle of all emotions, the strongest, deepest, most
profound. I think I made mention of it in a previous blog, titled CAPM etc etc (other financial jargon terms). I read an entry from my journal long ago and it triggered my memory of unrequited love as a pain in the chest, I guess the heart region. Which is definitely, conclusively (in my opinion anyway) why people relate love with the heart. I dunno if any of you guys are currently experiencing it, but for some reason I wanna have this feeling again, just to remember what it was like. It's not possible though because I have a girlfriend (yes Anna, see I mentioned you in my blog!).
One distinction I want to make is between honeymoon love and unrequited love. I think they're two totally different feelings yet very similar. I define honeymoon love as the type of feeling you get when you first go out with someone, that "on top of the world" feeling where you cannot function normally - in fact scientists recently prove that when we fall in love, we actually do go a bit crazy. Anyway, to explain it in words, I would say they have the same general makeup, consistency if you will, but the "surface" of both feelings are totally different. I attribute the surface difference purely to the object of affection. Hmm, okay I almost confused myself there so I'll draw this out.
Okay I don't wanna sound condescending but I'll refer to surface emotion as "yellow bit" and emotion body as "blue bit" now. I believe love resides in the blue portion, that yearning for the object of your affection (ie. for guys, a girl (hopefully) and vice versa) but depending on circumstances, namely either they like you or not, your yellow bit changes.
With regards to honeymoon love, since the affection is returned I would imagine the yellow bit turns blue too because it's complete. Right? Unrequited love is different however, since it's not returned for whatever reason it will remain separate from the blue bit. I guess to go even deeper, if just say, the other person doesn't know you like them the yellow will remain yellow, become incandescent even because the fire of hope burns stronger. However, if the other person does know but chooses not to return the love then I guess the yellow will turn a different shade depending on your reaction - pale/dull yellow for depression (which is the most likely scenario initially anyway) but for some that bright yellow later on much like the incandescent yellow I mentioned before - this symbolises the renewed determination to win "her" over.
Massive SIGH! Okay, I think I've gone a bit loopy trying to explain parts of love in words, with diagrams and, believe it or not, physical concepts. I think I'll leave it here. I wanted to try and go a little deep with this blog, but I believe you're thinking this blog is more weird than deep. I guess that's why we're all unique because I perceive explaining my concept of love as deep. Anyway, I enjoy sharing and going deep, it makes me feel better opening up and not just having superficial little posts about nuances. I believe I've accomplished something tonight - I explained love!
