im so tired, even though i've recently had 10 days off work, my days and nights have been filled with much
from a fundraising dinner, art fair, comedy shows, late night drinks for peoples' birthdays, fancy dinners and a day trip picking strawberries it's been one non-stop event after another.
i think tonight it's slowed down, although after work i decided to accept an invitation from the ATO to a rental property seminar in the city. made my way there (alone - scannell, thanks for piking on me!) and didn't find it particularly useful. a lot of the things that they clarified i already knew, but i guess there were some fresh reminders once again of obscure tax treatments which i will need when i do my return this year.
mind you, i dont normally get invitations from the ATO and secondly, even if i did, i probably wouldn't attend them so it was kinda random. because i don't have CA commitments i was interested to go to something random like this for once.
whilst walking through the city on the way home after the seminar, i realised how many art galleries/shops there are and managed to enjoy them from the outside when i would normally walk past them briskly without even noticing. for me, walking in the city is usually purposeful, quick and focussed so i'd never take notice of all the different stores.
but as i began at the start of this post, i am tired. haven't been having great sleep and a lot of things have been floating around in my head of late. trying to address and deal with them in an appropriate, wise and calm manner but it's really difficult. everytime I struggle I always think of Paul and how he endured pretty much everything in the later part of his life. plenty of persecution and betrayal, but he still soldiered on.
i was reminded recently that it's a human tendency to be selfish when we're out of sorts - say you have an argument with someone, you end up in a bad mood and then get snappy at someone else totally unrelated to the initial argument. or someone does something to upset you, so you become emotionally reclusive and are unreasonably hard-nosed when a friend seeks consolation from you. it's so hard to be generous when you're preoccupied. i guess that's the definition of true giving - when you don't have much to give, you keep on giving.
so while i've had my days full of action-packed activities, i never forget that they're merely ways to pass the time, to temporarily break from the real issues at hand, constantly colouring my thoughts.
so it was good tonight to spend time alone doing something from the norm (go home after work, reply to emails, do some admin around the house, read). instead, i got to reflect and ponder, take stock of some things that have come to pass and recognise the need to deal with them.
anyway have tough week ahead of me, really busy at work and always plenty to do and organise outside of that. hope the mind can find peace again and i get some proper sleep. cant wait to see how i get through this and to the other side, i know i'll be better off as a result. hope the rest of y'all are travelling well on this journey called life. for me now it's push, push, push!
