The Marmota Monax

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

BUT

Sorry to break it to you guys, the groundhog (as it's more commonly known) can't chuck wood!

SO

The amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a Wall Street Journal article, New York state wildlife expert Richard Thomas, found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, it would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.

So there you have it people. 700lbs.