Celebrity Spotting in Dreamland

Now, I really should be studying as I've got an exam on Monday and it ain't no pushover if you know what I mean. Yes, 333-309 Derivative Securities, the bane of my existence!

Anyway, I am about to embark down the proverbial "road less travelled" with this post, I really am. I've never done this before, on such a public forum anyway but here goes. "Ooo what's he going to do?" I hear you say. Well, quite simply I'm going to share last night's dreams with y'all.

So, trying to have an early night last night despite my regular 3am bedtimes, I managed to get into bed by about 2am. I remember taking a long time to drift off, as I usually do, but the next thing I remember was being at a tennis tournament.

I was watching Marat Safin v John McEnroe. Haha no comment. I can't remember the score because I don't believe I went into that much detail making one up, my dreams aren't as vivid as I'd like. Anyway, for some reason other players had to play on the centre court so they kicked Marat and John off and made them wait in the tunnel at the entrance of the court.

For some reason, I miraculously found myself down there, and they were a bit peeved at being kicked off, naturally. So there we were, and suddenly the tunnel became a car park. Furthermore, Marat and Johnny started playing, without a net and within confines of a "court" about 1/4 the size of a real one. I was the only other person down there, and when there was a disputed call, Johnny said to Marat,
"Look buddy, I really respect you so okay, I believe it was out" to which Marat replied,
"Okay" in his dopey Russian accent.

So the game went on and I became the umpire, but again, for some reason the car park turned into a dank old toilet block. Anyway, Johnny Mac and Marat had finished and ended up changing in the change rooms/toilet block and I proceeded to pee in a nearby urinal (very very personal I know, but hey this is groundbreaking stuff! Wait till you hear about the next dream with Britney Spears! Haha) Anyway, I suddenly woke up from the dream with the sudden urge to pee. I cursed in my head and looked at the clock for a solid 10 seconds before my vision came to focus. 5:54am. Mother f**ker!!! Okay so I got up and went to the loo, then came back into my warm, warm bed.

The next thing I remember, I was in a hotel room with the one and only Britney Spears. Now, let it be known that I'm not a fan of hers, and I don't think she's particularly hot hot. This isn't some deep-subconscious perverted fantasy of mine. Although, she was a lot better looking in person than the pictures. But I didn't really know, I was meant to be sleeping on the same bed as her and this other dude anyway. Hehe no no, it wasn't like that, at this stage the dream was more like an "Almost Famous" scene where ppl just fully crashed wherever, totally platonic mind you. There was another chick sleeping on the matress on the floor somewhere from my recollection. Anyway, we were rudely woken up by Erin, the cute brunette chick on "The Apprentice 3". I immediately jumped to, almost saluted her while standing upright like a soldier. It was time to get our shiznitz together to perform the next task that Donald Trump had issued to us, and boy, I certainly didn't want to get fired this week.

Anyway, it was how I imagined it to be behind cameras, the cameraman said "cut!" and all these makeup people started touching us up (as in with make up, not their hands! Haha). So instead of rushing to get all this stuff done, we chilled a bit, I talked to Erin who is an attorney about what I knew about Comm/Law degrees, which is not very much. Anyway, Britney was walking around doing her thing and after that it was a blur.

The next thing I knew, I was back in bed squeezed between Britney and Erin. Great! Haha not really, I was a bit annoyed that they both took up so much room but eh oh well. The dude (whom I made up during my dream was actually Britney's ex) was sleeping on the matress on the floor this time. It was very dark again, early hours of the morning in the same hotel and then Britney's mum walked through and woke us all up. The girls didn't respond but I apologised for them and said "Sorry Mrs. Spears" which sounded way weird.

Anyway, we had a big day and we went to this school which looked like an office block. Apparently it was one of the finest schools in America. There were about 400 people sitting on the lawn just outside the front door of the office and we had to do a small 2 minute interview to see whether we were going to be accepted. I was there being chummy with Britney, this dude that looked like Diego Forlan and other "pretty people" which was nice. I was in their group and they were waaaay cool yea, like, yea!

So we did our interviews and I thought I went well. I knew that Brit had done swimmingly because she's such a sociable girl and of course they'd love her, even if she wasn't smart.

I can't remember much after that, but the next dream I remember was sitting on a bus with Mandy Moore. It was surreal (duh, it was a dream) but I was meant to be watching us sitting on a bus on MTV because it was a video clip for Enrique Iglesias. The song was "Hero". So, the story went like this, Mandy and Enrique were together. Mandy had told Enrique that she had to go away for a while. She was sad to leave him and so was he. But I, being Mandy's friend and long time secret admirer knew that Enrique was bad! I was about to tell her but then I saw the look on her face when we drove away on the bus. Later, I saw Enrique with another blonde chick driving past us and I was like "Oh no, Mandy's gonna see it for real now". So, she was looking around talking to me, then she saw Enrique hoon past with the blonde. She was so sad, but I was there to comfort her. That's when the chorus came in with "I can be your hero baby, I can wash away the pain..." but then the song became all whack, out of tune and off beat and I realised that my radio alarm clock was going off because it was 10:10am with some song playing that washed out "Hero".

I forced myself to get up but I didn't actually get out of bed until about 10:45am. I had promised I would go for a jog early but I wanted to just lie for a bit and let it sink in that I had spent the last few days with John McEnroe, Marat Safin, Erin from The Apprentice, Britney Spears, Enrique Iglesias and last but definitely not least, Mandy Moore...all this while sleeping! Ahh...dream life is good.