Kevin

I knew something was different last night when I got home around 2am hearing Kevin barking. He didn't stop so I went outside to see what was up, I was thinking about bringing him inside. Instead I took KJ's kennel (which he never uses) and put one of Kevin's pillows in there since it didn't seem like he wanted to go into his own kennel. He stopped barking and so I went back inside to sleep.

This morning my mum looked outside and saw that Kevin had indeed passed away. I couldn't think or move, I just kinda moped around not quite comprehending anything. My mum kept on yelling at me for being lazy so much so that eventually I cracked and basically told her to F off - using that exact word too. I wasn't standing around being lazy but I guess I was just traumatised. I always hear of people in shock when a tragedy happens but I always think it's a mind over matter type thing - how ignorant I was.

Anyway, with the help of Korean Lee and Thai Andrew, the three of us dug a hole in my backyard. We buried him with my mum saying a short prayer. After reading Personality Plus which Mandy so kindly lent to me, I can understand that my mum's just the type of person who deals with pain by lashing out at people. I, on the other hand, close up. It took a lot of my mum yelling at me for me to crack, a lot more than it would've used to so I guess that's a very minor consolation. But I'm still annoyed I still cracked.

Kevin was like 16 years old, in dog years that equates to 112. About two years ago when I got KJ I realised how old Kevin really was. It amazed me he lived so long. I am happy though that he got to live out his life and didn't pass away from a tragedy.

I remember when my last dog, Lucky, died the first person I rang was my best friend, Seamus. He answered and through the tears all I said was "Lucky died" and hung up. I didn't want to talk about it, just to notify a close friend what had happened. Today when Kevin passed away, the first person I rang was Anna and I told her what happened.

Thirteen years on and it doesn't get any easier.

R.I.P Kevin 1989-2005